thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
