Who did Billy Mays play for?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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