I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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