ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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