Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
