Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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