I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
