Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
