i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
