Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
