I love black thongs
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
