Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
