I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
