it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
