Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
