if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
