So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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