i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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