I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
