Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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