I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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