just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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