Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We left an ass print on the piano.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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