If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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