ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Who died my cat blue again?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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