if you like me you must not know who I am
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
sex in a hospital.. check
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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