sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
