i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
