Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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