I showed him my bush... on skype.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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