So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm at about main and main street
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
