i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i drank out of a bidet.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
