There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Sacagawea was the original milf.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
