guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
