I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
