I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
