thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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