I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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