He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
