the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
