I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
