Just fell off a train. Bad.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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