so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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