You smell like a Billy Joel song
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
