Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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