You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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