so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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