"it" just moved
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
