it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
