There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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