There r osticjed everywhere
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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