i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
