My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
