Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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